Women and Worthiness
Who were you before the world told you who to be? Usually this question can be answered by getting back in touch with our inner child. To do this, we ask questions like:
- What did you do for fun as a child?
- What did you want to be when you grew up?
- What did you daydream about when you were a kid?
- Who was your childhood hero? What about them did you love?
- Who were your closest friends growing up? What did you like about them?
- Who were your favorite teachers and why?
- When you were a kid, how did you imagine your life would be when you were grown up?
- Describe a time when someone hurt your feelings. What did you learn about yourself?
When we have a wounded inner child, she tends to show up in common ways. She shows up in perfectionism, rebellion, learned helplessness. The common belief she has is, "I'm not worthy."
How do you heal the inner child?
Time. Healing the wounded child inside is no easy task or quick fix. This work is lifelong and ongoing and requires deliberate dialogue between the inner child and your adult self. Some steps can be:
- Recognize and accept this aspect of yourself. Don't judge her. She's doing the best she can.
- Listen to her. What does she need? How are you judging her? How does she need your support?
- Engage in self care without feeling guilty. You can't take care of others when you don't care for yourself.
- Practice mindfulness as a way to become more compassionate not only for yourself but others in your life.
How do you know when your inner child is healing?
- You no longer avoid the difficult conversations or situations.
- You’re able to set healthy boundaries.
- You can express your needs in a healthy way.
- You easily take care of yourself.
- You give yourself permission to play and be spontaneous.
- You are able to self soothe.
- You no longer blame others for your problems.
Inner child work is something all of us do throughout life - neurodivergent or not. However, this work does look different for neurodivergent women because we have to acknowledge our caregivers failed to really see us. Sometimes this creates resentment or bitterness adding to the shame we already feel for being different.
If you're ready to peel back the layers so you can free the wounded girl living inside contact me today to schedule an appointment.